Great! You've met The One -- you
laugh at the same jokes, you love
the same team, and you don't mad
when he’s playing Madden. But what
if your parents don't feel the same
warm and fuzzy feelings for your
sweetheart? Don't get defensive --
try these ideas to bring the most
important people in your life
together before the big day.
Get the Facts
Ask your family members why they
disapprove. Open discussion can
defuse a volatile situation, and
their reasoning may surprise you.
Perhaps they misunderstood something
your future husband said, or
misinterpreted your soon-to-be
wife's shyness. Let them know how
much you love your mate and they may
try harder to accept him or her into
the extended family.
Alter Your Angle
Remember that your family wants the
best for you. Be open to the fact
that people in love (and lust!)
sometimes choose to ignore their
partner's faults. Have an open mind
and be certain your feelings are
true, and not some “fling of the
moment” or
blinded by that "bling".
Shower Them With Love
Show your family that you care about
them. They may worry that you're
leaving them behind and may feel
jealous of your spouse. After all,
your married status may mean you
won't make every Christmas
gathering. They'll see less of you
and you'll have new priorities. Make
sure your parents and siblings still
feel cherished and irreplaceable in
your life, and they may learn to
love your spouse.
Roll With the Flow
Don't take everything your relatives
say at face value. Don't harp on
insults made in the heat of the
moment. Wait until family members
chill before asking about stressful
situations. They may realize their
words were hurtful and think twice
before they speak next time.
Respond Quickly
Don't wait too long to address the
issue. If it takes years to broach
the topic with your parents, it may
be too late. Once a behavior pattern
or opinion has been established, it
can be difficult to change. Speak up
when issues arise or your resentment
(and your spouse's) may build to
such levels that the family
relationship will never be mended.
Stand By Your Man (Or Woman)
Whatever happens, stay committed to
your spouse. Ultimately it's the two
of you who will spend your lives
together. Present a united (yet
friendly) front, and you'll find the
road a lot less bumpy.
Good luck!
~ photo courtesy of Tonesha Housen
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