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Question of the Month |
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Question:
My fiancé and I want a small wedding because we prefer a more intimate event. However, his mother is insisting that we invite every relative she has. She claims that most of them will decline anyway because of the distance, but will be insulted if they don't receive an invitation. Should we risk inviting them in hopes that they decline? And would it be rude to ask my future mother-in-law to pay for the extra invites?
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Answer:
This is an issue we all face during the planning process. It's a problem that needs to be addressed sooner rather than later - especially with your future in-law. The right thing would be for your fiancé to sit down with his mother and discuss, but you should be there too. (Don't want to start the marriage off being labeled the "difficult" one!) The size of the wedding is one of the first decisions that need to be finalized. Once the budget is established, and the type of wedding has been decided upon, let your fiancé's mom know the number of guests on her list you can accommodate. Although you and your fiancé would like to invite the world, you really want to keep this moment intimate. Suggest sending a wedding announcement to those who didn't make the cut. Announcements are often sent in cases where the wedding celebration is too small, but couples and families still wish to share their celebration. An announcement carries no obligation for the recipient to send a gift - but is a nice gesture to let those know about the happy event.
Asking your future mother-in-law to pay for the added expense of additional invites? That wouldn't be wise. However, should she offer this as a solution, it is perfectly fine to accept.
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